Expectations

The moment I type this word in MS word... I look for its synonyms… and the most familiar word I find is ‘Hope’… I always have unconvinced explanation for this word… I always hear people saying… “Never keep expectations, they hurt” … and unfortunately, sometimes it comes out true… logically!

Take this case… One lucky day you meet someone… and as every good relationship starts with a good and healthy friendship, so it does… luckily, you start meeting her everyday… and very slowly you find that you actually love to be with her... in her presence you forget all of your pains… whose chattering soothe you… whose smile makes your day and you find it world’s the most beautiful!!… you sleep at night in hope to meet her in morning… you lend your ears on her every small – small sayings… you love looking into her eyes… you find all of your answers there… you do not hesitate in making the most stupidest and obvious excuse just to listen her voice even if it is just… hmm/yes/ok!!... you feel her pain… you try your best to solve all of her problems… you find your happiness in her happiness… you know her likes/dislikes… you try doing everything which makes her happy and comfortable… you notice every little thing of her… in fact you start taking care of everything which is directly/indirectly related to her... you never knew but you actually feel great in doing that!

When you are busy in service… there is one more thing growing parallel to this… unnoticed… unintended… and that is Hope… hope of being treated in the same manner you treat her… if not all, at least for few!!... and when you don’t find it to be happen, you start feeling blue… whenever you look into her eyes you feel unanswered… you find yourself in such a conversation in which all you listen is just your echo…

I don’t find it wrong in keeping a little hope that can give you immense happiness or satisfaction… after all whole world is relying on hope!! If you have got hope for something you start act accordingly… I mean, if you are looking for something you will make all possible effort to get that… so keeping hope can make you act in a direction which will take you to your desired destination… the most important part in this, is to have clear idea for what you are keeping hope… you have put your heart in and she doesn’t even get a taste of it!! So always keep expectation, but from the right person… ironically, in most of the cases expectations are right but they fail because they are expected from a wrong person… sometimes everything is right but situations or circumstances aren’t fair enough… huh… and when expectations aren’t met, you broke down.

Are expectations one’s assumptions? Yes that’s absolutely right… assumptions are always made where there is a chance it to be true… if you are in any kind of relationship (Family, friend or love) and assuming everything is perfect, then somewhere you are expecting similar from your companion… because it can’t be perfect and stay for long if only one part is involved… the other half also have to contribute somewhat similar to make it absolutely perfect… good and long lasting relationships are made only when both contribute equally… and to check whether it is balanced… requires testing… a little testing is necessary to be assured of a good relationship… but it should be really little… testing brings expectation and vice-versa… expect only when it is really needed… when you really feel that something is missing… expecting a lot and expecting unnecessary can really make the statement “Never keep expectations, they hurt” true!!

Remember, Expectation always comes from the one who loves you… who really cares about you… the one who really needs you… your doodhwala... or your dhobi can’t expect anything from you except their payment!!

That’s it for now! You would say why ending it so abruptly… see, you are now expecting more from me  … no, it is just because things in my life which I like are ending up abruptly, without even notifying me… and unfortunately I like writing too!!

At last, a nice phrase from Leo Buscaglia, a prominent author, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

Untitled !

It was blurred, it was all bleary,
Full of darkness, it was shadowy,
Could have wiped it, but took it all casually,
I never thought of sailing before,
I wish it was all easy and rest for sure.

                           It was lashing heavily, but took it all gladly,
                           Couldn’t feel that breeze, while it was so windy,
                           I made a wish, perhaps it wasn’t from the core,
                           I wish it was all easy and rest for sure.

It was into a big swirl, it was all broken badly
Tried my best, but now it wasn’t so lively,
I crossed all over but it happened on the shore,
I wish it was all easy and rest for sure.

I wish It was all that easy...

I find it very difficult… really very difficult … the transformation of feelings into the words… and bring those words to the tongue… poor words have to travel all the way from crimson red cage(heart) to the trebuchet(tongue)… a steep climbing (down to up)… and that too carrying the load of feelings, emotions, desires, sentiments, hopes, fear and other hell lot of ‘U’ things… on the bet of dignity, honor, pride, self respect and other hell lot of ‘I’ things with it… try its the best… defying the law of gravity… but it fails… it will fail again and again… until it gets a tiny push from the person for which it is trying to come up… push can be in any form … but it should have some expression…  expression which leads words to just slip out of tongue… without putting any effort into it… expression could be either encouraging or discouraging(obviously, likely to be avoided!)… but it will take words to their launch pad!!… that’s for sure…

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;


Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

                                                       By- Robert Frost

Confusion over Conclusion

It was Friday and I was returning to home from office in my office bus... It was a windy, cloudy and stormy evening… but it was picturesque, especially the horizon; it had being painted in golden orange color ... And I really loved it! then suddenly it started raining... Rather it was pouring so heavily as if cloud burst… Rain drops were end up thrashing so hard on the window pane… as if they wanted to break it;  and I wish it could had happened because I wanted rain to come down around my face… btw it didn’t happen… however the pane was shivering out of fear with making some annoying sound! And I really felt pity on pane! After countless strikes… the rain finally stopped. I again saw at window pane… now it was much quiet than before... and the rain which were striking it few minutes back now scattered in making millions of drops on it.. Whenever a headlight flashes on the pane, the closely stick drops were glittering like side of a dupatta worn by woman which is flooded with countless stars … it looked so pretty that I wanted to capture it… but couldn’t! While I was busy in watching this beautiful scene... something deviated me... and the cause was this tiny little drop which was sliding down slowly on the window pane from top of it to the down... and few centimeter below of it I could see one more little drop which was stick so tightly to the pane as if it is waiting for the earlier one and doesn’t want to slide down… suddenly the first drop which was sliding down struck the other one waiting down… and because of this course of action two things happened at a same time.. Two drops merged with each other and created a new big drop… this is what makes me confused… I am not able to conclude this event because I am not sure what happened exactly, I should end up it saying whether both the drops lost their selves or a new drop got life… which one should be given more highlight? To those who have given their sacrifices or to the one who receives a new life? Someone’s pain is another’s gain? Hope some day I’ll get answer to this but for now what I understood is… “Destruction of one’s identity is somewhere related to the construction of an entity”... this is what a life is all about….  

Googol.. making fun of India’s Bhoogol( Geography)!!

I had written one post about Chinese intrusion in India, you can find it in my previous post list. This post is just continuation of that post and is not on China vs India, but on Google, the company that is having a row with the Chinese over censorship and allegations that the dragon nation used gmail to hack into important networks outside China. And no, I am not defending Google in its fight against the Chinese censorship. As long as it is not my nation, I am not bothered by how another nation handles its censorship issues. 

Ohh… I am going off-track!! Let me bring my focus back on Google. China, with the largest internet users' base, is an important market for any Internet company. Google is no exception. And in its business interests, the company does all that is necessary to be good to the country it operates in. Hence, Google, bluntly put, makes a fool of both Indians and Chinese… And how is being done? Just take a look at the maps shown below and watch carefully the red color circled area… compare all three maps… and I am quite sure you won’t need any explanation!  

If you open the Google maps' China edition available at http://ditu.google.com, Arunachal would show itself as an undisputed part of China, the whole of Arunachal Pradesh on Google maps.

The point ‘A’ shown here inside the circle is ‘Arunachal Pradesh’!!… and it is clearly visible that it is in Chinese territory!! 
For the uninitiated, Arunachal is a disputed territory between the two nations, with both laying claim to its territory, notwithstanding India's greater claim to it given the fact that it has a democratically elected government in place for years now.
And if you open Google India on http://maps.google.co.in, is politically correct and our fellow citizens from Arunachal Pradesh can, thankfully, still call themselves Indians.

The real fun begins when it comes to opening the map available on the international edition at http://maps.google.com.

You can see the dotted lines above Arunachal Pradesh… The dotted lines are symbol of showing disputed areas... Huh!! Jai ho Google Devtaa ki!!... Everybody is happy now!!
 I think we have a right to demand that Google, since it operates from India and has considerable business interests here, make changes and not try to pretend to keep everyone happy when in reality is making a fool of everyone.
It doesn’t end up here… the same story is with Indo-Pak border… and guess what… narrated  again by our very own Google!!!!

Resemblance with Happiness...

While I truly believe that fighting for someone that you love is noble, sometimes you end up wondering why you even tried fighting so hard... Things seem to get lost in all of the pride that you swallow and there is no happiness left in what you do. As for now, I am ready to take that new road and do what I want for me...
I admit that I have not been the perfect lover... but mostly because I couldn't even be me anymore... I was unable to express what I had become, and that caused me to make plenty of mistakes... I wish I could say that I regret everything that I ever did since, but I have started to feel that what happened has made it more clear as to why things didn't work... All in all, I need to stop being scared of being alone and settling for something that isn't good enough... I am in no way saying that you aren't a good person, you just aren't for me... I think the worst mistake I made was giving a second chance.

Word of the wise: do what makes you happy.
......... Some random feeling, thought of sharing :) ...........